Today, I happened upon this lovely little gem on Medium about a man who photographs his wife eating as a show of devotion and mutual enjoyment of life. I expected to find out that she is in recovery from an eating disorder and his photography is a way to help her on her way (you can tell that this is the kind of stuff that I tend to be focused on). However, as I read, I definitely didn’t get what I expected.

I got more.

There was no mention of an eating disorder, nothing about weight, or food stigma or anything of the sort.

It was an essay showing the devotion one man feels for one woman and how he chooses to express it.

I was touched.

And then I realized that my husband tends to do a lot of photographing of me while I eat. Or with food in front of me. Or while preparing food.

And I. hate. it.

So I started to really think about why it bothers me so much to be captured with food in my mouth and realized that it’s because I’m fat.

Deeper diving into this limiting belief that I’m carrying around, deep in my mind, helps me to see that I feel unworthy of being documented while eating because I’m fat and that means that I’m probably eating too much and a photo is only proof that I’m doing exactly that. Eating cake: bad for me. Eating BBQ ribs: bad for me. Eating fried anything: bad for me.

I’m here as the Fat Health Coach, to help other fat folks realize and express their fabulousness, but still in the back of my mind I’m holding this stupid limiting belief that I’m not good enough to eat because I’m fat. Ha. (I never said I was perfect.)

So, today, I’m going to take the first step forward, to move away from this silly bullshit thought and post a picture of me stuffing food in my face. Caught Eating!

I deserve to eat what I want, when I want, in what quantity makes me feel good, because I can, fat or not. 

Got a limiting belief you can’t get out of your head? Let’s see if we can get rid of it together. Sign up for a Breakthrough Session today.