I’ve had a lot of struggle finding just getting myself to write a thing.
And it’s just so much easier for me to speak it out because it takes so much less energy for me to just say the words versus type the words out.
I’m a verbal processor. I think better when I’m speaking out loud regardless if that means I’m actually talking to someone who is actively listening and can give me feedback or a plant that lives in my office. (I often speak aloud to myself, too.)
So let’s have a conversation.
I’m getting ready to run the Fat Freedom Group Read Membership where we’re going to get together, and instead of these one off Group Reads where I pick a book and we read it together for some period of time, I’m making a commitment to delivering a consistent program over a year and you are choosing if you are interested in joining me for the year to read a handful of texts that I have selected that will help us both move toward body liberation for everyone as well as ourselves.
And I’m really excited about this!
One of the best parts, one of the most exciting parts for me is I’ve chosen to deliver the books!
As somebody who has a purely digital business, any opportunity that I have to make something tangible happen I fucking love it. I love to take advantage of that, and I always am looking for opportunities for making that happen.
So far I’ve tried a t-shirt, making a mug, and stickers. (Check those out by clicking here.)
What am I doing with this Group Read Membership anyway?
Short answer: I’m filling in the cracks.
I wanted to take the one off Group Reads into a community and a membership, a yearlong experience, partially because I want you to be able to commit to it. I want you to stay and receive these books. I want to learn interesting things from you as you learn and grow.
But also, I really want to ramp up the community aspect of how we read together.
I mean, it’s a Group Read, that’s the point.
We’re taking steps away from the traditional sort of book club model where everybody reads on their own and then comes together for this brief interaction to have a discussion about what’s been read. Instead, we have this gentle reading schedule where ultimately we’re reading so much more slowly.
So you’re taking your time with the text, you’re not having to rush through it or smash it down or cram it in.
You can take your time because I have pre-planned and pre-sectioned out the book for you and then you have the option of joining us for a live discussion call of 90 minutes over just that section.
This means that we always get to know the books more intimately. We get to have more investment, We get to take more out of it. We actually get to digest what we are reading and have really deep and rich discussions about these works.
This has been one of the best parts of the Group Read.
But what I have been noticing is after those calls happen, is that people go about their merry ways and only come back for the group calls. There are two things thatI have struggled with about this.
One of them is I absolutely 100% believe in the the necessity of community interaction. Not just “hey, we’re people who are all doing a thing at the same time, we have that in common.”
But actually create communities of care where we grow and challenge each other and and we, we fucking care for each other, you know?
And so that’s reason two why I want to have a yearlong experience: I don’t want ships passing in the night.
I know that’s unavoidable because there are some people who just want to interact that way and they’re allowed and welcome to do so. But I want the people who want more connection to have those opportunities and I want to be able to foster and create that.
I made a big decision.
I planned to start the Group Read Membership on May 16. A couple of weeks ago I sat down and I looked at my calendar and my To Do list and I realized that I was behind schedule.
Of course, as someone who is amazing at that 11th hour grind, I could totally make it happen. And it’ll be fine.
But that was where the tension was: I want it to be good.
I want everything that is within my control to be as controlled as possible.
But that wasn’t the only challenge: my low capacity is my other challenge.
And where that low capacity is coming from is that we’re moving back to Germany at the end of the summer. (Plus this is the 3rd move we’ll be making in a 4 year period.)
I’m having to deal with that anxiety and also on top of it, I’ve got a six-year-old kid who is just getting settled into his new school and making friends and now I’ve got to uproot my baby and start again, again.
My capacity is too low to be present and deliver and facilitate this budding Group Read space and steward that experience for my members.
So I’ve decided to delay the start of the Fat Freedom Group Read Membership until October 24.
It’s so important to listen to your self and your body.
I realized that partially why I’m behind schedule is because I’ve been dealing with the moving situation and it’s been sapping my energy and my ability to make things happen.
I’m choosing to not bypass my own feelings and experience, but actually listen to my body.
I’m practicing listening to my exhaustion, my frustration, and my inability to focus and make things happen. I’m working to lean into NOT parsing my capacity where I’m just gonna grind through the day and make Group Read happen and then grind through the evening and make the move stuff happen.
We’re not going to burn out here, we’ve got work to do!